Its just recently come to my attention that my style has changed. I never really noticed my transition from anime-ish to a more realistic style....
Anywho life is back to its same old stroll through the doldrums. I'm to the point again where I am bored with life. I don't know if its just my bipolarity going through a long spell, or if i really am tired of the way things are. It has nothing to do with Michael, we're actually okay, surprisingly.
I want to get back on my feet again. Be out on my own once more. Stop depending on my sister. And most of all I MISS HAVING MY OWN HOUSE!! But I still have no car, which I can't get without a job, but i have to have the car to get a job, and both of those to have my own place again. ITS LIKE ITS NEVERENDING!!!
I have decided though I will not let roomates stay with me again. No more bullshit where I'm busting my ass to try and pay all the bills. If I am going to pay all the bills then I will live alone. That way I can walk around naked if I like, or something to that effect. No more surprise visits from people who aren't there to see me.
And of course now that I don't have the money to get a place, they are popping up everywhere. Its like some kind of fucked up karma. If I get shit like this for helping people, then what the hell would I have gotten if I would have kicked their asses to the curb? Its ridiculous.
Oh well I guess thats life. Oh and on top of it all I am no longer allowed to see my little brother if Michael is with me. My mom doesn't want my Bisexuality to influence him, because they are 'church going christians' now. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against christians or any other religion, but who the fuck does she think she's kidding. Does she forget i Know her. Hell even when i do see her she still acts like her old self, cussing like a sailor and everything. She's only different when her husband is around. ALSO if they would do their damn job in raising Shiloh to be christian, then my sexuality wouldn't "influence" him because he would know that it goes against his faith. Then she tries to pull the who "if your father hadn't have died you wouldn't be like this". Hello! He knew that i was bisexual! He caught me with the next door neighbor in my room when i was 12. The only thing he said after we talked about it was "Don't tell your mother, she'd go crazy." Well i would say he hit the nail on the fucking head. Besides its been 5 years since dad died, you would think she would have come up with another way to try and guilt trip me by now.
Fuck it. this journal has turned into a rant and I'm tired of it.

Peace.
~Shy